: Ask Ellie. And his dad was extremely controlling and critical about money. Question. You're not going to win, so don't play the game. If they want to do something and you don't — too bad for you. He promises high and low that money will come… Today, the husband still attends Gamblers Anonymous and is a highly respected professional at a great company, Borowiec says. His income is irregular. This is exactly how my husband behaved towards me. Taking charge of finances is a subtle form of abuse a controlling husband may use to keep you in check, according to Helpguide. Thanks! Not Helpful 6 Helpful 12. 1. No matter what you do, you are at fault -- and this kind of bullcrap can't stand. This isn’t all about money though; a lot of people can also be really full on, giving you ALL of their time and ALL of their attention. The bizarre thing is that whenever there is a birthday, holiday or event, he suddenly doesn’t have money. They demand what they want. My husband is controlling our money. And he believes himself to be the best investor and would tell everyone else how they should handle their money. If you save money then you're being too stingy, if you spend it you're careless with money. Here are some examples of controlling shared resources and assets. I want a divorce from him, but he comes back to me after a big fight and convinces me to stay. "Only a handful … The controlling person can let slip comments nonchalantly that appear conversational but which the person is entirely serious about, whether it’s a threat of physical mutilation by the controlling person, cutting the person off financially, leaving you for another, leaving in general, taking your kids away, or something else entirely. While a husband managing the bills is common and normal, an abusive husband may attempt to withhold money from you and will demand records of every dollar you spend. Controlling Shared Assets and Resources . Q: I'm a 62-year-old … When a dating partner or spouse has complete control over the money in the relationship and you have little or no access to what you need, this is controlling the family resources. We all exhibit controlling behavior from time to time, but it's important to know the signs of a controlling husband or boyfriend that suggest the behavior is more than just occasional. Get out! It was always regarding finances and investing. I doubt he'd want to waste money on that so he might wise up and just do his share of the housework. This usually is an indicator that this person hasn’t got a lot going on in their life, giving them more and more time to try and manipulate and control you. In fact that is the only conversation he would have with anybody. Tue., Nov. 6, 2018 timer 3 min. He beats me and spits on me. Yes No. By Ellie Advice Columnist. How do I gain access? For three Christmas in a row I have paid for presents so that the kids won’t be disappointed. 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