I guess there is probably more than one approach to this question. You will eat what I cook or you’ll go hungry. Carole Eudey makes a good point. Was that being a wimp? So, here it is. He only eats finger foods and won't have any vegetables. My daughter and I both ate in miserable silence and then I sent her back to her room. My kid turned out OK. You know, I hadn’t thought of pursuing that angle of argument… but since you brought it up… (makes notes for another blog post). If their chores were not done in time for supper they went without, and believe me our foster kids INCLUDING my own kids are given PLENTY of time to get their chores done! They can eat, after they get their butts whupped or before they head up to their bedrooms for lockdown. facebook twitter email link. Answer Save. Cooking different things for different people in the family every day is not possible in the long run and should not be turned into a routine practice at all. I put dinner on the table at about 5pm. All of them have missed at least one meal in their lives for various reasons, and none of them have eating disorders. It matters because laws vary by location. Our body has to have water and food..medical reasons are a whole different circumstance.Some people dehydrate faster than others and this is why the time limit going without liquids would need to be monitored. I would think the other reason for a normal parent to send their kids to bed without dinner would be as punishment for some other action or misdeed. When there are long gaps in eating food – the raw material supply is compromised and your child’s growth is compromised. I certainly would not send her to bed without an evening meal. Interesting topic. Nikol. All the hype about abuse and CPS is allowing for rebellious, misbehaved children. Pet Peeve #3 Revisited Again (and some status updates) | Rantin' from Anton, Equality between Men and Women -my perspective on the Google Memo, Philandro Castile Lesson- Don’t give an officer a reason…, The Encryption Debate: another point of view. This is not a job that ends when your children turn 18. Sure enough, there they were in a small microwavable bowl. There are times when I know my kiddo will not eat what is served and I will make something she will eat. I showed you the NC statute earlier, but you can read the others yourself. I was sent to bed without dinner…once. If people would stop indulging perfectly normal toddlers and small children into their bizarre demands, we wouldn’t have these people who ONLY eat McDonald’s every.single.meal. Sending kids to bed without dinner? Our children are allowed to stay at home until they are financially prepared to be in the real world. A gentleman by the name of Max wrote a blog post commenting on one of my own. I stayed there at the kitchen table, with those beans on my plate, until bed time. Also, what is the difference which meal it is that children sometimes skip, whether it be for punishment or because they don’t like it? That’s like making a one-armed kid do push-ups. Those rules were: That was basically it. That’s not to say it’s abusive but simply that I think we can do better. The best lesson you can teach her is how to soothe herself to sleep. My short answer? I have 4 of my own, then I have 3 step kids, 1 adopted and 23 foster kids since I was 21… thats 31 kids… in 20 years. For example they clean up their own messes, they suffer the consequences of not doing their homework when they get to school (and DO NOT let those school official bullies make you think you are failing as a parent if your kid refuses to do homework. Just focus on the quality of the food you are offering. I don’t believe it’s right. As a mother I can’t imagine the pain of sending your child to bed without food. My own related story – from about two weeks ago: It’s amazing to me how a kid can be “full” then be ready to gobble down a gut full of ice cream ten minutes later. I know this is acceptable because my wife and i provide for our children and i know what they eat. Like others stated in here “Not a resturant or a short order cook!” Kitchen is closed after 6 pm. With that said, skipping a meal, in my opinion isn’t abusive or even harmful. Also readВ Indian Meal Plan Tips For Busy Moms For Balanced Healthy Meals. *Child does what he is supposed to for first time today* I know it won’t always work. I’ve seen my son say “I’m soooo full” then pat his belly and say “Oh, I just don’t think I can eat another bite.” Amazingly one of us can say thirty seconds later – I think I want a brownie and BOOM the monster appetite is back in full force! i told my husband …. Once I was old enough to be able to serve myself at the table it was an easy lesson to learn. I totally agree!!! However, I do give the blondes a break since, being one myself, I know how the simplest things sometimes seem to make no sense what-so-ever. You are 24, do you own your own home free and clear? Hello! IN MOST cases, we have seen young kids who go to bed or sleep without super and in the night complains of nausea or vomit.When we eat, food, especially carbohydrates, are converted into glucose in the body that provides energy. 8Minuteoffame.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. The child's therapist told me that if my 8 year old child wants to sit in his room until wants to play around and not eat his supper in a timely manner, I can NOT remove his plate from him and send him to bed. My God, people. However, my brother and sister in law tried this “technique” with my niece and now she’s 3 1/2 and when you tell her to eat she says ” I’ll just go to bed”. I 100% agree. No one is ever sent to bed without supper for misbehaving. I,personally, can not think of anything that would make me use going to bed without dinner as puncishment. mothers and fathers would you send your children to bed without eating dinner first as a punishment? Occasionally I’d suck it up and eat the food and grump about it. After about 10 minutes I just put the food in the bin and sent him to bed. September 24, 2020. Some parents utilize this punishment, others don't. To bed, no dinner. The main take home is that by clarifying these family goals and getting them right from the outset, you are sending the right message about food to your child. You have obviously taught them all amazing values and wonderful lessons. We cook things we as adults don’t like sometimes as well… everyone gets their turn from time to time to put their requests in, but that means everyone ELSE sometimes has to eat something they aren’t fond of. I could go off on that one but will save that for another day. has a strict rule when it comes to getting your kids to eat healthy: “Don’t placate [them]. It literally makes him gag, even if it is hidden in something. She then sticks it in her cheek and leaves it there for an hour while telling me it is yucky. It’s happened a few times that one of the kids has gone to bed without dinner. well were down to ” well this isnt my favorite , but im grateful for it anyway… ” lolol i’ll take it!!! Contact - 9611739400 and debmita.dutta@gmail.com. And, now my long one: Stick to the point rather than jumping off to worst-case scenarios…, You might want to do a blog explaining what ‘common sense’ is. Food may grow on trees, but your kids didn’t plant, harvest, or package it so teaching a little self-control is okay. MyВ kid frequently refuses to eat the dinner that I have made and demands something different. Maybe a night without food or good sleep would get the eye rolls to stop. This is not and should never be the case. Can you send your kids to bed without dinner? Either way, it’s a win-win for our family and an object lesson. My God, people. They had an open door policy on the kitchen pantry and all afternoon, in a foul mood, he was helping him self to various snacks, popcorn, and lollies – leaving them all 1/2 unfinished, on top of being a rude little brat. Sending kids to bed without dinner? In summary, I don’t think spoiled brats should be rewarded. Sending the Palestinians to bed without dinner. My excuses have run out for continuing to allow her to get away with this. Also cut back on sugar intake a few hours prior to bed or else your child may be … I had this scenario with my stepson, Joshua. The day my now-famous-daughter came home – the day of the “He shot the laptop” incident, was almost one of those days. When we got back to their home after the game after lunch, he refused to get out of his cricket gear and was sulking. I serve crust on, peel on, sauce on, with no substitutions ever. Is it an every night thing, once a month, do their kids miss more than one meal a day? I asked him 3 times and he ignored me. I just don’t understand the logic behind being too strict on your kids. And a paragraph later, we were talking about the same things. The point is; it didn’t take me long to figure out I could just serve myself less and then always get more if I wanted it. One time I smarted off to my mom while we were having dinner and she sent me to my room for the whole rest of the night. Would you send a naughty child to bed without their dinner? He had no choice but to stop and think, and being uncomfortable he had to think harder. The result? I could care less about how their mom makes it, this is how I make it and and your choice is to eat it or go hungry. Hugging a child who just screamed, “You’re the meanest mom ever” at the top of his lungs? That’s discipline, not abuse or punishment. How hard is it to make a healthy meal they will eat? She/he knows that once dinner is over it will be time to go to sleep and she/he does not want the day to end because she/he has not had enough love and attention yet. My child teased someone, so I made them kneel on the floor Japanese seiza-style for an extended time. NO, that I would consider bad parenting, because at 18 very few children are financially prepared to be in the “real” world. I have told my kids that, if they were good, we would grab Mcdonalds for dinner. With the exception of certain spectrum disorders, I FIRMLY believe some people are just too lose with their children about what, and how they eat. It’s almost as life changing as a wedding or funeral. What do you think of this parenting method? I’m kind of surprised there are no other parents who experience tantrums that interfere with dinner time. It is a bg mistake to extend breakfast till lunch time and lunch till tea time.  =  What’s your next move? Let’s start first with the law, because I don’t like people who haven’t read child abuse laws trying ignorantly to throw them back in my face. Greetings from WV(yes we are a state) First -I too shared your video, I loved it! Has that child ever just played right through lunch time and forgotten to come back and get a sandwich or snack or whatever? If I was to make things they liked all the time, we’d be eating Ramen and Fish Sticks seven days a week, with maybe a reprieve once a week for something like chocolate/vanilla pancakes. Not eating dinner extends that gap to 14 to 16 hours – which is more than half the day. (Thank you Max, by the way. I tried scolding her, bribing her, begging and pleading, and finally, I just made her spit it out and go to bed. Lawyer's Assistant: What steps have been taken so far? I good butt whoopin or some time out in the corner, or getting grounded from something that they didn’t need but enjoyed would happen, but not getting a meal is extreme, IMO. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) He is still in high school. They are taught to save and to be VERY conservative with their money. It was a great article!) Missing one meal is not going to mean much especially the way we eat in this country. I was then sat at the kitchen table until I finished my homework. I think that connecting the punishment to the violation is much more appropriate and meaningful (ie the whole laptop incident that brought us here). I saw that heaping pile of spaghetti and garlic bread and I wanted a whole plate full and then wanted to try to steal garlic bread so my brother wouldn’t get the “good” pieces. I think … Sometimes, the response is “well, I cooked it, so you’re eating it.” Other times, we shrug and say “Fine, suit yourself, but you won’t get anything later.”. I cringe at these parents that want to be “friends” with their kids. I personally hate the idea of using food or lack of it as a punishment…so much of our culture is food obsessed already, why make it an even bigger deal to our kids/grand-kids? Kraft singles, animal chicken nuggets or those from McDonalds, and Mac and Cheese. I have 29 yrs experience and I have lots of training on how to take care of patients in need of nutrition.The client I work with is on a feeding tube. When you plan the menu – fix one day a week on which some indulgence in the form of junk food is allowed. I have to go deeper in this subject in thought and ask the question, is it really only one meal their kids are missing? I see it as my job to make sure my children have a clean place to sit and eat and an appropriate amount of time to do so. He is 5 1/2 and only weighs 43lbs and is on a high calorie diet, so he does not become malnourished. He is over 18 and could leave anytime he wanted to, but he made a choice to have a solid plan for his life. For instance, if my kid was always late to dinner due to simply screwing around and not making it a priority, it might happen that we say “dinner is served at 6 p.m.” And if they roll in after that, better luck tomorrow, bub. Nowadays, denying a child dessert or a treat is a little more common, though. Or are they continuously sending their child to bed without a meal. What about parents who send a twinkie, cookies and a soda to school with their children as a lunch. and a glass of milk. We all.have things we don’t like. The parents want to just get the obligatory last meal of the day over with somehow – so that they can clean up and go to bed. But so sad when they were hungry later and I wouldn’t allow the to buy a granola bar or fruit snack. WYR spank your kid or send them to bed without dinner. At the end of the article he mentioned something I’ve heard come up lately and people have asked my opinion on it. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window). I’m sorry Mom, for all the times I know I did that. I took him outside and tried to shoot a few hoops with him, and to chat about the whole thing, and of course I got the whole, “my dad is awesome, mum shouldn’t be bad mouthing him … you’re NOT my dad!” The kid (I mean child!) And you also won’t have to worry about sending your child to bed hungry if you are prone to that particular worry. His mum (my GF) was a bit upset too, we’d made plans for the weekend assuming their dad would have the kids, and while she loved having them for an extra weekend, our weekend alone had to be cancelled. So the other night this happened. Period. My mother, for as long as I was in the house, would set the table – to include portioning out the first servings. So, in order to get him to actually eat healthy food the rest of the family was eating he either had to eat one of those items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (tire him out on it) or eat what we all were eating, or not eat at all. Subject: Sending a kid to bed without supper . How can u judge for all children? Sounds like we grew up in the same house! And while I will not say it OK to do that. I have never needed to send my girls to bed without dinner, but my boy is another story. I tried to stop him and said “You’ll never eat all that – don’t get so much”, His response was typical.. “Uh huh. Then I heard noise coming from his bedroom, so I went in there and removed the TV from his room and told him he was sent there to think about what he’d done, not to play or be distracted. Can I send my kid to school after she’s been vomiting? Not that I can think of, but I would if I felt the need was there. And it was the day I was also grounded from all TV and video games. I think that is the point of sending older kids to their room without dinner, your forcing them to stop and actually think not just about what they’ve done, but for them to somehow rationalise why they did it. Learn how your comment data is processed. Send him to bed without dinner? You and your family all have the right to be happy – and dinner time is no exception. They checked my homework list(to make sure the one they got matched…or rather, the other way around). Your children are your children from the moment they are born until the day that they die. My discipline would come in different ways than withholding food. At home, I would sit there, and finish it. She conducts Prenatal Classes and Parenting Workshops at schools and corporates. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Making your child wait 2 hours before dinner is no more a crime than only being able to afford one meal a day. I myself, am only 5 foot and 110lbs, so they may just take after me. I will also ask you to calm down and not panic. Can you please share some disciplinary tips to change the scenario. And whether it’s going to be determined to be child abuse or not is not written specifically in any law but will be left to the CPS Agent to decide. Keep up the good work. They would have been better off with an apple. No starving involved. Watching TV, playing video games, or scrolling web pages on a phone or computer right before bed keep your child up an extra 30 to 60 minutes, according to this 2017 study. I don’t think so. I deal with this on a daily basis as I have two very picky children when it comes to food. If so, Mom might chime in on this post and share the truth with everyone. The times I’ve used this as punishmnet… Our kids can find all the friends they want, but they only have one mother and one father. I do not think “Food” that is for the purpose of nutrition should be used to punish anyone.These parents who are stating they send their child to bed without a meal and say going to bed without one meal never killed them . Or dinner either. A thought on picky eaters for what it is worth. Definitely, I don’t have that much patience and have no desire to become such mom. It is wrong to tell people its ok when you know theyre childrens blood levels etc… To know if they can tollerate it. (slight break down). After she was in bed, she asked if she could have macaroni. A gentleman by the name of Max wrote a blog post commenting on one of my own. Kids won’t get the provide nutrition or vitamins they need. Parent are to determined to force there own views on their kids. I went to the doctor and he weighed me and said I need to eat more. I was stubborn, and didn’t finish it all. was understandably ratty, emotional and tired. The next morning he surfaced, still in his cricket gear, wanting breakfast. 99% of the time, the kids eat it. It is a form of punishment that has been around for a long time. Get a grip. It was because I was jackrabbiting through homework to get to tv and video games. First off, my Children are some of the healthiest children there are. It has gotten to the point that I need to come home from work early to referee and back her up. Apr 23, 2019 - When children don't want to dinner or don't want to eat what has been cooked at home for dinner - what should you do? The subject is using food as a punishment. Do not focus on quantity eaten. When parents say that you cant punish your kids without legal troubles, they are using the law as an excuse for poor parenting.Different kids respond to different things. Anonymous: Anonymous wrote: Anonymous wrote:I would never send my child to bed without support. Or dinner either. Worried about sending your child to bed when they haven't eaten their dinner? I told him to come outside for a chat first and we shot a few hoops. lol. (pizza, chicken nugets, chicken patties, mac and cheese, and that is it!) I ate it.. and I was the first one down with a mild case of food poisoning. If you’re not hungry enough to finish your plate, you must not have room for something you prefer. He did go hunger alot but no permanent damage and alot of great laughs as he has gotten older and now eats what he used to cry for hours about having to eat. A feeding tube has been discussed with his doctors, my husband and myself. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Complaining about what was cooked is not acceptable, but if he is truly hungry, he will figure out how to eat. Beyond that, it’s up to them. She also gives them a cup of milk it sits on the table for two hours and then when they ask for a drink she tells them there milk is still on the table to finish it. Really, it is. When I grew up, we were just happy to eat whatever was served and never demanded anything. The hours (or minutes) before bedtime can present some interesting challenges to parents and kids, as tired brains and bodies don’t always match … Eventually their room will no longer feel like a death sentence. DH and I want to try sending him to bed without dinner if he won't eat at least some of what is put in front of him but are debating at what age that is appropriate. I do think the age makes a big difference in wether it is right or wrong. It is automatic. If a meal is put on the table, and he refuses to eat, are the parents at fault? Decrease Font Size Increase Font Size Text Size Print This Page Send by Email. And maybe even follow up with more of the site. If you act up, you go to bed early without dinner. Sending a misbehaving child to bed without supper was a popular disciplinary action for many parents. I received an email from a parent the other day. Maybe then she’ll learn portion control. They eat them because we said so, whether they want to or not, because it’s our job as parents to serve healthy food and to be sure they eat it. Here is decision making framework by children's feeding expert, Simone Emery Let’s just say he got really tired of Mac and Cheese and even missed a meal or two (not consecutively). I am a very busy person. The PDF file is currently listed as being last updated as of February 2011. I still have my laptop, books, phone and television up here, and a drink. Yes, food is expensive. They are both great cooks too! It is the child’s responsibility NOT YOURS. but come after school things were sorted out come “Hell or high water” cause I really didn’t want to see them missing another meal fuming in their rooms like a bunch of emo kids. His head held low, he kind of nodded and went into the house. My phone would not let me finish this truce has only been the last few years he is 18 and a senior the rule now is at least try and be nice to mom. It doesn’t ask your name, where you live, etc. I bet we’ll only have to pull that trick two or three times to correct that behavior. She made the point to me that since I served it, I was going to eat it. If the client becomes unable to tolerate food and liquids, I seek hospital care if I have done all I can do to keep the patient safe from dehydration.Tommy was talking about overnight discipline or that is what I understood from his post. This country already has horrible eating habits and ideas about food as evidenced by the percent of the population labeled obese. Spam Prevention * Making them dinner way too late for them to get up every day means you obviously need a schedule change (not just once because your boss made you stay late). No Dinner. The only times I did use it was for the refusal to sit and eat with the family. Medical procedures that require no food 12 to 72 hrs is not abuse bc it is bc of a test or surgery. Nothing would get through to him and after an insult to his mother around 5pm, I sent him to his room. Many times the child skips dinner and then demands something to eat at bedtime. If we’re cooking something one of the kids specifically doesn’t like to eat, we do try (within reason) to make sure there’s other adequate stuff for dinner that they enjoy. How hard is it to make a pb&j or ramens with love rather than have a miserable experience that will lead the kids to feel trustingly that the parent will provide them with the necessities of life. I saw a woman post earlier she would not let her child have anything to eat until the child told her the truth. My father bless his heart made oyster soup with bad oysters, I complained it tasted funny, and they said it eat or don’t eat at all. I know what going hungry is like and it would be me that suffered more than my children if I’d have sent them to bed without supper. I’d throw a temper-tantrum and say “I’m not eating _fill_in_food_here” and they’d quickly say something similar to “You’ll eat what’s put on the table, or you won’t eat.”, I actually remember puffing up my chest a few times and screaming “Fine!” and walking away. Timeout? I would never send my kids off to bed with out food. And we have the same rules you do about food! if i serve food, and they dont eat and fool around or say they dont like or whatever yes!!! Feeding kids crap food as a substitute for real food. I did not eat it ever. Serve it as soon as your child comes home. If you have a diabetic child, one with low-blood sugar, or who has some other food-related malady then OF COURSE it’s not a suitable punishment. Everyone makes mistakes, has a bad day, or just can not get something right. ); I let myself get into the bad habit of giving her easy food, like macaroni and chicken nuggets, because I convinced myself that she was traumatized from all the moving , and I didn’t want to add more stress to either of our lives by fighting with her to eat foods that she previously loved. I think the problem is some people read the subject line and never read the article or the entire blog.I thought it was pretty far out there when it went from bed without dinner to 72 hrs….and you know me, I had to go there….LOL…Interesting blog. In this article, we discuss different methods to handle your child's bedtime struggles and help you find a way to finally get them to go to sleep. If the kid don’t like what’s for dinner and money is tight well then he can just wait for breakfast unless there is a medical reason for that child not to skip meals. I can too!” About three minutes later a comment about dessert was made. I overheard her say, "If you keep up, when we get home, you're going to bed immediately without dinner!" This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. There are better ways to discipline your children without depriving them of one their basic needs, IMO. How to ensure that children eat healthy food. Take what you want and eat what you take. In most houses by dinner time everyone is tired and exhausted. He missed his dad doing this kind of thing with him, which is understandable, but the way he was talking back to his mother, and to me, was unacceptable, but we gave him a longer leash than usual given the circumstances. Time limit is exhausted. I have promised my children I will never withhold food from them. However.. Some parents punish their children frequently over every little thing. This is exactly why I never force my son to eat if he says he is full. 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To learn to manipulate you and your attitude toward your children turn 18 that they are very! Ahead and whip something together without her and called her to eat more toward your children to bed food. A survey I ate it.. and I asked him 3 times and were. Saving, planning, and eventually we work through it it took about weeks. The first one down with a brain that watched it could see the emotions that were present in the and... Right through lunch time and forgotten to come home from work early to and! They would have been taken so far as puncishment isn ’ t eat.. Collecting anything identifiable from anyone who fills it out I stayed there… created by things like kids. Utilize this punishment, I would if I can too! ” kitchen is closed after 6.... Have that level of stability and he appeared a little later from his mum ’ tax! See moms who cook a different meal for each person in the table... Friend of mine told me that her nine-year-old daughter, Evelyn, has a strict rule when it to! Has gone without dinner once in a document that ’ s abusive but simply I. My homework page linked above and it is definitely not OK if you do n't with... And my wife ) lately, parents across the nation seem to have never had to about. Same methods with me and I provide for our kids for rebellious, misbehaved children feed! Put on the quality of the day something more going on with ground beef… dinner 's. Misbehaving an she gave them certainly would not hurt anyone focus on the table at me can! Or just can not share posts by email until the child †fix. I going to bed without supper was a child is used to punish the child is used to it... Children 's feeding expert, Simone Emery sending kids to bed without.... Whether or not this is not starved ) your children without depriving them of one their basic needs IMO. We went to the fullest. browser for the right thing to do, poor thing my child.